Well it's been a while now hasn't it? I know I said I would update sooner,
but shit has seriously hit the fan for me lately. I'm not going to get into too
much detail, but I haven't exactly been home for the past few weeks. Heck, I haven't
even showered in a week or so. I'm totally beat.
Let's get back to the previous update, which was to be continued. It's been
so long. Anyway, the bitch came into my home after telling me she can help me
with "getting laid" since I haven't seen a real live vagina in a
decade or so. Most of you probably thought she let me fuck her brains out. Well,
if it's any consolation, I thought the same thing as well. However, that was not
the case.
This psychotic broad turns out to be some sort of hippie fortune teller of
some sort. She dims my room lights and asks me to sit directly in front of her
on the floor. I sat down just to see where this shit is going. She proceeded to
ask me questions about what I do with my time off and where I go. I told her I don't
do anything other than watch TV, get online and sleep. She then put her hand on
my head and started making some strange noises. Frankly, I'm not sure if all the
noises were coming from her mouth.
After about 5 minutes of this silliness, she asked me for a pen and paper. So
I handed her a sheet of paper off my printer and a pen. She started to write in
what seemed to be large font. She then crumbles it up and screams at the top of
her lungs. I told her to get the fuck out at that point. She wouldn't stop
screaming and lunged at me and began to shake me by my shoulders. ANY hope to
get laid flew out the door 20 minutes ago, but now I'm thinking I'm getting
cursed for life.
She then ran to the door, grabbed her dog and ran like she stole something. I
was in absolute shock. I tried to calm myself and try to forget about this by
watching an episode of Seinfeld. That usually does the trick. But not that day.
I was just a wreck and my nerves were going crazy. A few minutes later I saw
that crumbled up sheet of paper she wrote on, which I had totally forgotten
about. I walked over and unwrapped it and this is what she wrote exactly:
"Get out. Get paid." and another line below read "August
1st". I couldn't make any sense of it.
The crazy thing, is that the same night, I stepped outside to smoke since my
place was completely clouded by smoke. And some IDIOT decides to talk to me, apparently
lives nearby. To make a long story short, he works at a loading dock where he
manages a warehouse. He offered me a job right then. Being is such financial
misery, and breaking my vow to never work for anyone in my life, I agreed to go
see the warehouse. He needed someone right away. I went there the next day, and
when I realized I would be in the back and away from any humans, I accepted the
job. And that's why I haven't been able to update lately. I start work everyday
at 6am. I don't get out until 4pm and sometimes even later. When I get home, I
rarely even get online. I'm so tired and beat, I go lay down on the floor and
watch TV until I pass out. Then I wake up the following day around 4am and do it
allover again.
But it hit me after a few days of working. That crazy woman's note said Get
out, get paid. The same day I was offered a job by some random guy. Could it be
a coincidence or is this what she predicted? Kind of freaks me out even though I
don't believe in that crap. I wonder what will happen August 1st. Maybe that's
when I am going to get laid, finally? Hmmm, we shall see I guess. Until then, I
got out, and I'm getting paid!
So, sorry for the late update. I will try to update more often now that I am
used to working this fucked up schedule. It's not easy adjusting after 9 years
of doing nothing.
