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Dr. Kavorkian Where Are You?

Fri, Apr, 6th 2007 11:52 pm by mikeee

 

I could sure use his help right about now. I've had my fair share of ups and downs, but this is just getting ridiculous. I try to sleep as much as possible, but all I have is Nyquil, and frankly, it's just not doing the trick anymore. Every single day I day dream about the minute I am tired enough to go to sleep, because that's the only time I'm not thinking about my problems.

It really sucks that I don't have the balls to commit suicide. I don't know what it is. It can't be the fear of pain, because I'm always in pain. I've lived all my life without health insurance and I only crawl over the the emergency room once every few years. I can handle physical pain. Hell I would trade any of my limbs to get out of this depression.

Recently I've found myself going for a short drive. Usually around 3 or 4 am when there are no humans around. I feel alright until I get back to my place. What am I supposed to do? Stay on the road? I can't do that. I need something to happen in my life and I need it quick. I'm seriously starting to get some insane thoughts in my head. Only time will tell.

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